Regaining Your Focus in the Fight for Joy

Frightened? Discouraged? Angry? Look.

4:41 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, panic struck. I had recently experienced head-to-toe hives in reaction to a medication and I felt awful. As the clock hands ticked closer to that five o’clock hour when all my doctors would go home for the weekend, my anxiety grew. I knew there was nothing a doctor could do for me, but it felt as though I would be abandoned to my confusion and pain.

What do you do when the anxiety comes? When the discouragement chokes you? Everyone faces moments of emotional tailspin. Life becomes too much and we crumble. We are made of dust (Psalm 103:14).

Stop. Breathe. Look up. Look in. Look out. Look up again--to Jesus.

1. Look up. “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock” (Isaiah 26:3-4). That was the verse I rehearsed with my oldest son as I washed his hair that evening. “Mommy, why do they call God a rock?” he asked. We reviewed some of the qualities of earthly, mountain rocks: long-lasting; hard to move; solid; sure shelter in a storm. Then we remembered God’s rock-like attributes: He is eternal, unshakeable, unchangeable, and always victorious. He is a place of refuge for His people.

God gives us more than we can manage because in moments of crisis we see our true need of Him. Yet He does not leave us without shelter in the storm of our despair: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe” (Proverbs 18:10). Look to Him. Remember His names, His attributes, His promises, His mighty deeds in the Bible, and His mighty works in the world. Read the Bible. Rehearse Bible verses from memory. Listen to a sermon from a trusted pastor. Listen to hymns and worship music that point you to God. Call to Him in prayer. He will not cast you out.

2. Look in. What is at the root of this downward spiral? Is the cause real or imagined? That Friday afternoon, my panic wasn’t founded on what was real. I was feeling crumby as a lot of people do coming off steroids, but I’m the queen of “worst case scenario.” My panic was built on all the “what ifs?”—my very own imaginings about what might happen, not on the reality of where God had me.

Consider carefully the reality of your condition. Where has God placed you at this moment? Thank Him when the pastures are more peaceful than your imaginings. When in the valley, trust Him to lead you through. Don’t run ahead of Him thinking about all the trouble that might happen. Worst case scenario may not be where He will lead you.

There are other ways “what ifs?” cause meltdown, like all the many things we want to do. There are many projects and ministries I would love to do, but if I try to do them all, everything (including me) will end up a half-baked mess. Step back and assess. Make a list of everything you are currently expecting yourself to accomplish. What are the essential things? What are the negotiables? What are the things God is clearly calling you to do? Pray and ask for the wisdom to know what is best, what is essential, what can be done simpler, and what can wait. God doesn’t call you to do everything. Settle for doing what He calls you to do.

3. Look out at others—and serve. Maybe you read this and say, “Wait—I don’t have time for this! Remember, I just made a list and cut the non-essentials.” Ministry to others is essential because we do our best fighting for faith when we are fighting for the faith of someone else. Looking to the needs of others puts our own trials into perspective. For example, after my own diagnosis with postpartum depression, two families in our circle welcomed new babies in challenging circumstances and another family faced a medical crisis. I was already in the kitchen cooking meals for us—so I doubled the amounts and sent my husband out on meal delivery (he never complained about getting a quiet car ride to himself). Making meals for others took my eyes off myself and gave me the perspective I needed to prioritize life. Also, having received so much grace and help, it was an encouragement to find I could pass on that grace to others.

You may not be in place where you feel physically able to serve others. Start small. Take time every week to send someone a text, an email, or a note of encouragement. It could be as simple as sharing a Bible verse, a quote, or a beautiful picture to brighten their day. This summer as I walked through medical trials, when God used a particular passage to calm my heart, I would text it to a friend who needed encouragement.  Look at the people around you. Who is struggling? Who is in need of encouragement? Start praying for others, and then send them a note of encouragement.

4. Look up again—to Jesus. The killer thing with depression or anxiety is that we begin to fixate on the challenge we are up against. That thing we don’t have—sleep, rest, quiet, health, a clean house, an ideal job, etc.—becomes the only thing we think about. As it devours our minds, it devours our heart’s affections until it dominates our lives. James 4:1-2 leads us to the end of this cycle: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?  You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”

It isn’t that sleep—or peace of mind, quiet, orderliness, a job, or health—is wrong, but it is wrong when the desire for it outgrows the desire for anything else, including God’s wise will for our lives or for His name to be glorified through us. What we need most isn’t sleep or peace. It’s Jesus. That thing you fear or desire most? Take it to Jesus. Surrender yourself and your trouble into His hands, and then strive to trust Him with it.

Last August as I lay awake the night before a medical procedure, I couldn’t stop thinking—but I could control what I was thinking about. Instead of focusing on needles and shots, I decided to concentrate on the attributes of God I learned while teaching first grade Sunday school. A: almighty. B: bountiful. C: Creator. D: Deliverer. E: eternal. Looking at the clock flash midnight, a wave of panic swept over me: this was going to be such a long night. How was I going to do this? I thought of my friend who was facing surgery just one hour after my very small procedure. I started praying for her, reviewing God’s attributes again. Then the thought came—God is eternal, He has no beginning and no end (Psalm 90:2). More than that, He has been upholding every single thing in this universe by the word of His power since He created it (Hebrews 1:3). It’s less than a drop in the bucket of His power for Him to sustain two women for ten-and-a-half hours. This is nothing to Him.

Look up. Look in. Look out. Look up again—and rest in Jesus.