The Most Important Lessons of This Spring

Some of the most important things we can learn
are not to be found in textbooks.

Little did anyone imagine that every kid in Minnesota (and in many other states across the country) would be doing school at home for a substantial amount of time this spring. Whether you are a homeschooler by choice or a coronavirus homeschooler, this season is hard. We are facing circumstances beyond anything we imagined, and we are doing it with kids bouncing off the walls. Lest we overburden ourselves by trying to check off every academic assignment as we face this crisis, let’s remember that the most important things we learn this spring probably won’t be found in textbooks or assessed on tests.

My kids and I will continue to do our school routine. We will work on learning math, but we will also work on learning to plot out our movements carefully. How long can we go between trips to the store? Just how much milk do we need for one week? If we cut the pan of brownies into four columns instead of three, how many more servings will we get? We will learn to use carefully and waste less.

We will work on learning to read, but also learn to get along with each other, wrestling through relationship at close range. How does the tone of my voice change the impact of my words? How can I love my sister when she is crabby? How can I help my talkative younger brother feel loved when he just needs to be heard? We will learn how to help each other make it through when the days feel long.

We will work on learning to write, but also on learning to make our own fun. When the books have all been read, why not write down our own stories? What new adventure could we imagine today? What game can we play together? How can we use what is in our recycling bin to make something new? We will learn to be thankful for the home we have, the toys we have, the books we have, the richness we have. We will learn how to happily “make do” with what is on hand.

We will work on learning history, and we will see how often man’s plans did not come to fruition. As we walk through days of canceled concerts, canceled playdates, canceled gatherings, and canceled getaways, we will learn to hold loosely to our plans and instead trust that the Lord orders all our days for our good. We will learn to enjoy the times He gives us. We will learn to accept from our Father’s hand that which He deems best, even when we don’t perceive His purposes.

We will work a little on science, and on how to wash hands and do the “vampire cough.” Mostly, we will learn how to take care of people when they are sick—checking on their needs when we are going to the store, asking if they need anything from our own pantries and bookshelves, and offering soup and muffins and movies. We will learn how to serve our friends, family, and neighbors by staying home when we are sick, and then going out to help others when we are healthy. We will learn to keep germs at home but to give loving service everywhere.

We will work on memorizing verses to help us fight fear, but we will also learn what it means to worship God when church is closed. We will learn to set aside time in our daily and weekly schedules for reading, singing, praying, and listening to sermons even when there are no eyes keeping track of our attendance. We will learn that church is not just a building, and that worship is not just for Sunday mornings. We will learn to honor God because He is worthy of it, and because taking time to worship Him for who He is and what He has done strengthens our weary hearts.

We will learn to trust God for His provision and to rest in His protective care. We will learn to live bravely, to keep on going even when the headlines would make us want to curl up and stay in bed. We will learn more what it means to live by faith in future grace—to trust that the grace we need for tomorrow will be there for us when we need it, just as the grace for this moment is here to sustain us now. We will learn to hold tightly to the hand of our all-knowing God as we travel through unknown valleys. We will learn that our strength and our courage cannot come from our own hearts or resources, but must flow from His sovereign strength and all-sufficient abundance.

Lord-willing, we will have learned a lot by the end of this school year, but hopefully the most memorable lessons will not have come from textbooks. In this unique season, may we learn how to live better, love bravely, and walk boldly in the strength that God supplies. May we learn that He is our truest Help, our best Strength, our only Salvation, and our most-needed Life. That, after all, is what we need to know the most.

Nathanael Greene Goes Grocery Shopping

I stifled a groan for the sake of the gentleman behind the counter. He was the second employee to diligently search the photo desk for the pictures I had ordered three hours earlier for 1-hour photo service. Try as he might, the photos simply weren’t there. I thanked him and half-heartedly pushed my cart on to get the milk, eggs, and other groceries we needed, but now my trip felt like a work in futility. I needed the photos. Tomorrow I would have to bundle up four kids and come back to Walmart for the third time in a week. No one ever warned me how much time a stay-at-home-mom spends out of the house running errands.

The feeling of defeat stayed with me that night, especially when my cell phone chimed as I tucked my kids into bed: my photos were ready for pickup. The next morning dawned a cloudy February day with the clear memory of unfinished business. Errands. What I wouldn’t give to stay home instead and read to my kids or even clean the bathroom. I picked up the book I was reading to prepare for our history lesson—and there was Nathanael Greene.

Who is Greene? He was afraid you would say that. Nathanael Greene was a self-taught Rhode Island native who arrived on the scene of the American Revolution outside Boston in 1775 and stayed until the Treaty of Paris was signed. Most people who do know him remember him as the general who outsmarted Cornwallis and saved the South from the British. Before that, however, he played a critical if forgotten role to ensure there would be an army to fight the British. During the Valley Forge winter of 1778, Nathanael Greene was made quartermaster of the Continental Army. In other words, he became Washington’s chief grocery shopper.

What did Greene think of appointment? He told Washington, “Nobody ever heard of a quarter master in history.” Plenty of civilians did hear of him though, and wince. Merchants grimaced when he entered their stores to shop with worthless American paper currency. Farmers hid their harvests, hoping to instead make it to market where the British would pay them in coin. His wagon drivers faced roads rutted with winter rain—although mostly there weren’t wagons available. When supplies did arrive at camp, it was never enough to last for long. Quartermaster was not what this self-made man who read Julius Caesar aspired to be. He wrote to his friend General McDougall, “All of you will be immortallising your selves in the golden pages of History while I am confined to a series of [drudgeries] to pave the way for it.” As he saw it, he had been “taken out of the Line of splendor.”

That’s really what it comes down to, isn’t it? Like Greene, I see the articles other people write, the projects they undertake, the ministry opportunities out there, and the many ways I could be meaningfully engaging this world. Yet the minute I sit down to write out a great thought, we’re out of bread. Let’s face it: most of the mom-job involves mundane tasks easily categorized as “drudgeries.” Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, wiping noses, changing diapers, putting on shoes and zipping up jackets, and, of course, going on errands to buy the supplies needed to keep a small army of people fed and dressed—though never for long enough. Instead of writing, I find myself in line at Walmart, wondering how many times I can possibly tell my children “no” before the cashier is done ringing up our purchase. This is not glorious. This is not the stuff worth recording on the scrolls of history. Splendor passes further out of reach each day as the hamper fills with dirty clothes again.

How is a heart to persevere in hope amid futility? By looking to the One who didn’t just provide bread, but who is the Bread of Life.

Jesus came to be bread. “I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh” (John 6:51). He came to give Himself, to lay down His life, to serve. He is notably recorded in history, but not as conqueror of the Roman world. He could have conquered, but what His people needed most was for someone to bear their sin and the righteous wrath of God which they justly deserved. They needed a perfect sacrifice—a Savior.

Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5b-8)

Jesus could have come in full glory as conqueror and king. Someday He will (Revelation 19:11-16). But first He came to serve. He came as the Bread of Life that we might eat of Him, of His perfect righteous and grace, and find our salvation in Him. And what are we to do while we wait for Him to come again as king?

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

We are to grow like Him, serving the other people He puts in our lives in His name. We’re to get the groceries, the clean clothes, the bigger shoes, and even the new crayons our families need in an attitude of loving service. The truth is, my children are not inconveniencing or interrupting my ministry for Jesus. My children are my ministry—a ministry given to me by Jesus. They may not always be the only one, but at present they are the primary one. The chores of motherhood aren’t glorious, but they are Jesus’ calling on my life. Whether or not they are remembered in history doesn’t matter. He will remember them, and He will remember the attitude in which I did them.

In a day when we carry social media in our pockets, moms can be as tempted as worldly generals to compete for laurels. Let’s take a lesson from history and not. Greene grumbled about his job, but he did it better than quartermaster before or after him. When he finally became general of a southern army, it barely existed. British General Cornwallis won most of the battles, but it didn’t matter. Greene fought not just as a soldier, but as an expert grocery shopper. One retreat after another, he tempted the British further away from their supply lines. Seeking to gain total victory by moving faster, Cornwallis burned his own supply wagons and neglected to feed his soldiers. Eventually his army collapsed and hunger drove the British to Yorktown. Mamas, let’s not neglect our troops. Our children don’t need us to make a name for ourselves on Facebook or wow the world of women’s ministries. They don’t need moms immortalized in history. They need our time, our attention, and our work. They need us to care for them, teach them, and love them. Like us, they need the Bread of Life. Let’s help them find Him by serving them by His grace, with His heart, and in His name—even when it means making one more trip to Walmart.

______________________

All Nathanael Greene quotes were taken from Washington's General: Nathanael Greene and the Triumph of the American Revolution by Terry Golway (NY, NY: Henry Holt and Company, 2004. P. 165).

S.N.O.W.: Strategies for Staying Sane During Winter

Sometimes, maintaining sanity
requires doing something crazy.

We opened the blinds to see what the morning held. Snow was falling for third time in a week. Of course, snow was better than cold. One week we didn’t leave the house for five days. We didn’t even go to the garbage can, but left the bags of trash to freeze in the garage. On day six, the danger of instant frostbite passed so I bundled up to venture out for groceries. It had warmed up to -4* F.

Does it sound crazy to you to live in a place where this is typical of winter? It sounds crazy to me. Why do we live here? I ask myself. Of course, I know why: family, grandparents, cousins, nannies, friends, church, etc. We settle for winter because we love our community. Still, when the temperature plummets or another storm delivers two more inches of slush on the roads, it takes more than the love of relatives to keep from being buried alive by winter blues. Maintaining even a semblance of cheerful sanity takes intentionality and creativity—strategy. It takes S.N.O.W. 

S—Study: Not classroom work, but delight-filled learning. When you hear winter moans begin, ask: “Why did God make winter?” Then gather your kids, pull out your computer and your library card and search for answers. What makes winter important? How does it work? Look for God’s wise design in winter. “Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them. Full of splendor and majesty is his work, and his righteousness endures forever” (Psalm 111:2-3).

• Watch a video clip about how snowflakes form. Cut out your own snowflakes.
• Read a book about animals inhabiting earth’s polar regions. How are they uniquely designed?
• Examine the frost on your windows. Can you replicate it?
• Learn about the people who live inside the Arctic Circle. How do they survive?

One of our favorite cold snap activities is to watch “Frozen Planet.” Though not presented from a Christian perspective, the science shows forth the intricate design and care of God over His creatures (including people!) living in coldest climates.

How does frost form in such delicate patterns?

N—Nest: We have an extended forecast available to warn us of foul weather. Mamas, we must take a lesson from the ants: “Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest” (Proverbs 6:7-8). Contentedness in the winter is possible, but it takes forethought. We need to be like the virtuous woman: “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet” (Proverbs 31:21). Make home ready to be a place of contented play and rest.

• Prep your pantry with ingredients for special projects and warm your home with cooking. Gather up your family and together bake bread, make homemade pizza, simmer some soup, mix up some cookies, or try making candy.
• Select and gather supplies for a new skill you could learn as a family: candle-making, soap-making, sewing, knitting, carving, or building. Find new ways to use your hands and time.
• Stock up on craft supplies: paper, glue, tape, felt, yarn, and coloring/painting supplies. Give your kids cardboard boxes, cardboard tubes, and egg cartons specifically for creative purposes. If they run out of ideas, get some craft books from your library for them to look through.
• Check out books and audio books by the wagon load. Put piles of books next to sofas heaped with blankets. Find chapter books to read aloud together. If you can’t think of some good titles, ask other moms who you know to be readers for their favorite titles.
• Pull out board games and jigsaw puzzles. Set up a card table specifically for puzzling. Sit down with your kids for some relaxing fun.

My kids love to spend a cold winter day strewn around the living room with their sketchbooks or Legos or puzzles listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle or Winnie-the-Pooh.  Remember those five days of polar freeze when no one left our home? We survived on a full pantry, craft supplies, library books, and bed sheets turned into hammocks hung from the dining room table. Puzzles and Laura Ingalls Wilder books on audio CD got us through a month of snowstorms.

Just hanging in there in our hammocks....

O—Open your door...

…and let someone in! Why not ask someone else to come over and bounce off the walls with you? Time for messy house hospitality. After all, no mom really cares what your house looks like if it means an opportunity to leave her own. While the kids play together you can share laughs. “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad” (Proverbs 12:25). Winter doesn’t have to be lonely. Invite a friend in and dispel the stress with good words of truth and perspective.

…and go out! Not all cold is lethal. Make sure you have good outdoor gear ready for everyone, including yourself, and lead the charge to get outside. Find local nature parks that offer winter activities. Load up a backpack with snacks and hit the trail with some friends. Company and food lessen grumbling. Hang out it your yard. If it gets dark too early, bring out glow sticks. If the kids get too hot in their play, bring out popsicles. Shovel paths, construct forts, build snowman, dig tunnels, and throw snowballs. My boys love a snowball fight against mommy. Join the kids in their play, and teach them you never grow too old to delight in God’s work.

Sometimes the best cheering up is a friend
to venture through winter with you--
especially if they stop to count the passing train cars for you.

A sunny snowbank is the perfect place
to eat a popsicle.

 

W—Wonder. Orchestrate unique and beautiful encounters for your family with this winter God has made.

• Bundle up and take a moonlit hike in the woods.
• During a snowfall, try to catch falling snowflakes on a piece of black paper and look at their designs under a magnifying glass before they melt.
• Look out the window on a cloudless day and be dazzled by the brightness of the landscape.
• Take advantage of the early sunset to go out stargazing—even in your own yard.

As you look around you, meditate on the beauty of God in His creation. “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork” (Psalm 19:1).

This too shall melt. Enjoy the beauty while it lasts.

 

Winter can be long and gray—but it doesn’t have to be endlessly dreary. Sanity isn’t to be found in the forecast, but in a steadfast trust in the sovereignty of our loving God. Hold tightly to His lordship, and then persevere in finding ways to delight in His work and provision. Study His creation and how it works. Nest ahead to prepare a cheerful home from which to face the season’s icy blasts. Open your door to the warm fellowship of friends—or, better yet, invite your friends to join you outside to enjoy the fresh air. Wonder at God’s handiwork, beauty, power, and mercy. Turn to Him in worship and trust Him for the grace to face one more winter day.

Choose the Better Thing

Sometimes the "better portion"can look a lot
like the people who live with you.

 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

I don’t know about you, but sometimes Christmas preparations in our house don’t look anything like choosing the “good portion.” Instead, there is the urgent search for addresses, and then for a clear, clean flat space big enough to write the found address on an envelope. There is the shopping that happens on the computer—usually as children play in the bathtub and experiment with waves, wondering how high the splashes can get before mommy’s glazed-over eyes snap to attention at the state of the sopping wet floor. There is also the shopping that happens in real stores—like that perfect book you buy for your husband from a real book store where you stand in a claustrophobic line with four wilting, starving children for 15 minutes, wondering every second why you didn’t just buy it online. There is holiday menu planning—which leads once again to the store, this time for that one ingredient you don’t have and the fifteen things you remember you need while trying to find the one thing. There is the wardrobe planning—picking out shirts that won’t irritate the boys and dresses that are equally snazzy for the girls. Of course, along the way you discover there is a hole is someone’s tights; back to Walmart you go. This doesn’t even take into account normal life tasks like cooking and laundry. Sitting down? What is that?

So, I’ve felt a bit run over by December. It added up to a lot of work crammed into every nook and cranny of life not taken up by school, visits, playdates, and sleep. Well, sleep ended up being a negotiable. Last Wednesday afternoon, I walked in the door having finally crossed off everything on the list. The next morning, my oldest child woke up and threw up.

As I ran between rooms, emptying vomit buckets, making lunches, and running laundry, I was struck with thankfulness. I was running hard and tired, but with more purpose and peace. This day, I was finally at home doing the best thing: I was present to my family. Making toast and canceling haircut appointments. Teaching the healthy kids how to build a more durable Lego structure. Brushing and braiding doll hair. Reading to my sick child while squeezing Tylenol and ginger ale one drop at a time from an oral syringe into his mouth, praying it would stay down. This was the good portion.

Perhaps the problem with Martha wasn’t that she was busy about the meal and the housework. Any mom knows these are essential things in any home, especially when a crowd is expected. In fact, if we were to consider the excellent wife of Proverbs 31:10-31, we would see a woman hard at work at home and in business to provide for the needs of her family. But Martha didn’t know when to stop working. Jesus was in her home, talking and teaching. Mary stopped to listen, just as so many crowds had stopped to listen. In that moment, physical food didn’t matter—Mary was feasting on the Word. But Martha didn’t stop to listen. Her mind was too busy with the logistics of physical needs to hear words of eternal life. Her soul, so concentrated on serving food, starved. What she needed was to put down the checklist and to be with Jesus.

In God’s mercy, my child got sick after the logistics of Christmas errands were done. My day was busy, but not because of a checklist. But what if the vomit had come in the middle of Christmas cards being stuffed or addressed? What if he got sick before all the gifts had been wrapped and shipped? What then? What if Jesus called me to come away from all the busyness of errands, from my projects and gift preparations, to attentively care for my child? Would I have found the wisdom and courage to set aside the cards and let things be late? To peacefully and quietly give up my agenda and multitasking and give him my presence? Would I, in the middle of chaos, been able to recognize that sitting at his side was the better thing?

Christmas can be a beautiful time of celebrating Christ together as a family. It can also be a terribly distracted time for moms, who are busy about food, clothing, cards, gifts, and getting to places on time. May I challenge us to fight for focus this year? Let’s not run over ourselves or our family with logistics. Do the necessary things, and then choose the better thing. Get everyone clothed and fed and gifted, and then just enjoy being with them. Don’t worry about checking all the boxes. Aim to do what you reasonably can, and then focus on the people God has wisely chosen to put in your life. There are chores and logistics that are needful, but they are not always needed “now.” Prayerfully consider and choose the best thing for “now.” Choose to be present and attentive to your family, people Jesus has given to you, this Christmas.

As I write this, I have little idea what our Christmas will look like. I know it will be a bit fuzzy—remember those canceled haircuts? They never got rescheduled lest we pick up any worse germs, so the boys are looking a bit thick on top, but we’ll count it as extra insulation. The more important thing is that my oldest son seems to be recovering from his mysterious virus. However, healthy or sick, our goal is to spend our holiday together, playing and resting. To that end, I won’t be posting anything new on this blog for the next three or four weeks. I’ll still be writing from time to time while I sit in the darkened hallway at the end of the day, waiting for the kids to fall asleep, but I won’t be putting myself or my editor husband under a deadline to get things done. While I love writing, I love my family more. During this season, I may not have Jesus sitting in my kitchen, but I have the four children He has given me spending Christmas in our home. It might not always be this way, and I don’t want to miss it. Writing can wait. Now is the time to choose the better thing.