GUESS: A Strategy for Blessing Families of Newborns

Well now what do we do?

“Will you sign a petition to protect eagle eggs and save unborn baby eagles?”

That was the question the man posed to people on the street in a 3-minute online video my husband and I recently viewed. The question was so simple—probably a moot point, given that eagles are already protected. Still, happy person after happy person signed. Then the host asked the same people, “Will you sign this other petition I have to protect the lives of unborn babies in the womb?”

No one signed. The personal inconvenience was too great.

Still, babies are born into this world. We see pictures of tiny newborns popping up on Facebook and encounter families with new children in churches, stores, and playgrounds. This is a wonderful evidence of God’s grace and blessing. As it says in Psalm 127:3-5, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” We should smile, “like,” congratulate, and pray for these brave and blessed families. But we shouldn’t stop there.

In the midst of a culture that demands the right kill unborn babies, we have the opportunity to affirm God’s good gift of children by offering practical and loving support to parents and families who are in that tough season of newborn. Babies are blessings—blessings that are beautiful, messy, and demanding.  Something as simple as an in-person presence to help, a thoughtful gift, or a word of encouragement can make all the difference to a mom who is going on three hours of sleep and who hasn’t gotten a long enough break from diaper duty and toddler action to eat a decent meal. As we welcome new babies in Jesus’ name, let’s consider a hands-on strategy to encourage families through this good and hard venture: G.U.E.S.S.

G: Go and gift. If possible, do something more than “like” on Facebook. Go in person at a time that is convenient to the family. Set up a time for a quick visit, double-check the day of the visit that is it still a good time for you to drop in, and go—and don’t go empty-handed. Children are gifts that need a lot of things, from diapers to clothing to food. Consider contributing to the needs of the family with a meal, a box of diapers, or even a small gift for a first-born child who is no longer an only child (a Matchbox car or a coloring book with crayons can make the day so much better). It doesn’t have to be big. To a mom, a friend showing up with her favorite smoothie or milkshake or a take-and-bake pizza for dinner is a lifesaver. So go big—and remember that sometimes the littlest things make the biggest difference.

U: Understand. When you walk in the door, remember that a baby bomb just went off in the house. Don’t expect things to be neat and orderly. Don’t expect mom or dad to look their best, or siblings to be bright and cheerful. Maybe they will be, but if not, understand. If they start to apologize for the state of things, cut them off and assure them it’s okay—and that everything will turn out okay.

E: Encourage. After you understand, give parents encouragement. If everyone is alive and the house is still standing, they are doing well. More than that, remind them it will get better—even fun. This is especially key for first-time and second-time parents, those going through the culture-shock of parenthood and then the hard transition to multitasking parenthood. Give them a strengthening word, especially if you have survived a similar situation yourself. Assure them there will be better days (and nights) ahead, and they will get to sleep and eat again. Also, baby will grow beyond simply crying and sleeping. Smiles and laughter will come.

S: Serve. Look around you. What needs to be done? Is the sink full of dishes that need washing? Does the garbage need to be taken out? Could you sweep the floor or hold baby to give mom a break? Offer to help in very practical ways and follow through cheerfully. If chores are done, mom will have a better chance to rest when the elusive opportunity comes.

S: Scram. Know when it is time to leave. Sometimes it is helpful to have serving friends around, but sometimes it is most helpful to have no one around. If baby is napping, if siblings are tearful and need mom, this may be time for you to leave. If you aren’t sure, just ask and don’t be offended if mom says your departure would be helpful. Different seasons have different needs, and sometimes mom just needs to read to her children or take a nap. You can always arrange to come again. Most families would benefit from practical blessing and support any time during the first twelve months of a child’s life.

Children are a gift—but the transition of a new child into a family is always a bit rough. Show up in person, with gifts, with understanding, with encouragement, with service. Show up to say that the inconvenience is worth the life. And when it is time for you to scram, leave them with hope and prayer. Their lives may feel overwhelmed and undone by baby, but “blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!”