Trusting God in a "Plan B" Christmas

What do you do when whooping cough cancels Christmas plans?
Trust God. Act in His strength. Treasure what He gives.

We were eight minutes away from church on Christmas Eve. The van was only half-full that chilly Sunday morning. My husband was home with our 2-year-old twins “Marigold” and “Stanley,” as Stanley had started a cough the night before. During our twenty minute drive on the freeway, my 6-year-old son had started coughing himself. Now, as we navigated down White Bear Avenue, he started to complain his tummy hurt—that he might need to throw up. Driving into the heart of the inner city, the most sanitary-looking public bathroom stop was a White Castle. We were just five minutes from church. I asked him if he could make it to the bathroom there. He threw up in the cup holder.

We didn’t go to church that Christmas Eve. Later, my parents would opt to have a “quiet evening” at home rather than join us for dinner. We all prayed for no more vomit. None came—but the cough stayed. The next day as I welcomed the extended family into our home to celebrate Christmas Day, my husband and the boys were quarantined at my parents’ house. That was not quite what we planned, but there was the promise we would do Christmas with grandparents New Year’s Day. Then, Stanley landed in the doctor’s office December 27 for the official diagnosis of the persistent cough and fever (now shared with his three siblings): whooping cough. Life was canceled.

There wasn’t any big Christmas party for our children that year; there was barely any party. My parents brought over presents but kept their coats and gloves on while they watched the kids unwrap them. Still, the calendar said “Christmas” and “New Year’s” and the kids knew it. The question was, what were we going to do about it?

It wasn’t the first time sickness snuffed out our holiday plans. Knowing my kids, it probably won’t be the last time either. As I type this, Stanley is laying by my side, down with another fever. However, if there is something to learn from our coughing Christmas, it is that attitude makes (or breaks) a holiday.

Consider the original Christmas. Consider what that day held for Mary. Imagine riding on the back of a donkey while very pregnant, finally arriving at your destination to find out there is no room in any house for you. The only place to rest in is a stable or barn or cave—clean, hopefully, but still somewhere animals were housed. Maybe this wasn’t a frowned on practice in the first century, but I have to think no woman really wants to give birth in a barn. Consider being far from home and familiar help when your contractions start. We don’t know if there were other women helping her through delivery. Hopefully there were, as her only traveling companion was Joseph. When baby is born, he is wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in an animal’s feeding trough. Their first visitors arrive that night—shepherds, straight from the field, sharing with them the announcement of the angels. What is Mary’s reaction to all this? “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). Tired, no doubt bewildered, she still treasured the goodness of God. She did not scorn His providences, but rested in His promises.

Friend, what will we do when the kids get sick on Christmas? What will we say when a car breakdown leads to a breakdown of plans? How we will react when a winter storm means we can’t go to grandma’s house? Trust His providences and His promises. Act with the resources He supplies. Treasure the moments He gives.

Trust His providences and His promises. Take a deep breath. Let go of your expectations and fault-finding and trust this twist in plans is from God’s hand and for your good (Romans 8:28). If sparrows (Matthew 10:29) and kings (Proverbs 21:1) are under His control, so are germs (Deuteronomy 32:39) and travel plans (James 4:13-15). His plans for you may not be as you visualized, but they are for your good (Jeremiah 29:11). While we may mourn the loss of our plans, yet we can trust that “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing” (Psalm 34:10b). If He has denied something, it is because it was not good for us to have at this time; He has something better for us. If we can embrace this truth, it will ease every change and every loss—and help our families as well. After all, the loss of the day is a loss felt by everyone in the family, especially our children. As moms, our attitudes largely impact those of our children. As our children watch us fight our disappointment with faith and choose to trust God’s promises and purposes, hopefully they will learn to do the same.

Act with the resources He supplies. Maybe you can’t leave the house. Maybe the Christmas party will go on without you. Still, how can you use the time and resources God has given you in these different circumstances to celebrate God’s love? Grab some fancy paper napkins and paper plates and feed sick children their toast as a picnic dinner around the Christmas tree. Cuddle up with a stack of favorite picture books or watch a favorite movie together. Put together a puzzle or play a game. Light candles or break out party favors. If tummies allow, make your own feast of family-favorite comfort food. Don’t focus on what you can’t do. Get busy doing what you can do.

One way you can help “Plan B” to go better is just to prepare for the possibility of it in your mind and in your pantry. Ask: what would make a meal at home more special? What small but fun things would bless my children? Keep some festive paper products, ingredients for favorite foods or treats, and party favors tucked away in the pantry. Paper products and party favors keep well from year to year. Ingredients do need to get used up, but my kids don’t tend to complain about a favorite meal on a random day “just because.”

Treasure the moments He gives. Acknowledge this day is different from what your plans were and move on. Make the most of the opportunities God has given you. As you can, enjoy the day you have been given. Find reasons to be thankful for it. Think through the things you are now free to do that you would have missed out on before. Take pictures. Share snapshots of your time together. Treasure the moments you have and the memories you make.

Ironically, our whooping cough Christmas was our most contented holiday (thus far). For the week of Christmas and New Year’s we couldn’t go anywhere. Instead, tired or coughing, we snuggled under the blankets together and read stacks of books until the reader (usually me) fell asleep mid-sentence. On a more active day, we concocted our family recipe for chocolate banana chocolate chip muffins. We took pictures and spent the time together. It was a gift.

Sometimes life happens on Christmas. Don’t let it crush you or your family’s celebration. Learn to hold loosely to all the fun trimmings of the holiday season and hold tightly to what matters most. Hold tightly to your Savior. Trust His wise providence over your life when it takes unexpected or unwanted turns. Use the resources He has given you to set apart the day in His name and in His strength. Treasure the gifts and moments, obvious and subtle, He gives you. These are His good plans for you. Trust His purposes, rest in His promises, and have a truly contented Christmas.