Choose the Better Thing

Sometimes the "better portion"can look a lot
like the people who live with you.

 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

I don’t know about you, but sometimes Christmas preparations in our house don’t look anything like choosing the “good portion.” Instead, there is the urgent search for addresses, and then for a clear, clean flat space big enough to write the found address on an envelope. There is the shopping that happens on the computer—usually as children play in the bathtub and experiment with waves, wondering how high the splashes can get before mommy’s glazed-over eyes snap to attention at the state of the sopping wet floor. There is also the shopping that happens in real stores—like that perfect book you buy for your husband from a real book store where you stand in a claustrophobic line with four wilting, starving children for 15 minutes, wondering every second why you didn’t just buy it online. There is holiday menu planning—which leads once again to the store, this time for that one ingredient you don’t have and the fifteen things you remember you need while trying to find the one thing. There is the wardrobe planning—picking out shirts that won’t irritate the boys and dresses that are equally snazzy for the girls. Of course, along the way you discover there is a hole is someone’s tights; back to Walmart you go. This doesn’t even take into account normal life tasks like cooking and laundry. Sitting down? What is that?

So, I’ve felt a bit run over by December. It added up to a lot of work crammed into every nook and cranny of life not taken up by school, visits, playdates, and sleep. Well, sleep ended up being a negotiable. Last Wednesday afternoon, I walked in the door having finally crossed off everything on the list. The next morning, my oldest child woke up and threw up.

As I ran between rooms, emptying vomit buckets, making lunches, and running laundry, I was struck with thankfulness. I was running hard and tired, but with more purpose and peace. This day, I was finally at home doing the best thing: I was present to my family. Making toast and canceling haircut appointments. Teaching the healthy kids how to build a more durable Lego structure. Brushing and braiding doll hair. Reading to my sick child while squeezing Tylenol and ginger ale one drop at a time from an oral syringe into his mouth, praying it would stay down. This was the good portion.

Perhaps the problem with Martha wasn’t that she was busy about the meal and the housework. Any mom knows these are essential things in any home, especially when a crowd is expected. In fact, if we were to consider the excellent wife of Proverbs 31:10-31, we would see a woman hard at work at home and in business to provide for the needs of her family. But Martha didn’t know when to stop working. Jesus was in her home, talking and teaching. Mary stopped to listen, just as so many crowds had stopped to listen. In that moment, physical food didn’t matter—Mary was feasting on the Word. But Martha didn’t stop to listen. Her mind was too busy with the logistics of physical needs to hear words of eternal life. Her soul, so concentrated on serving food, starved. What she needed was to put down the checklist and to be with Jesus.

In God’s mercy, my child got sick after the logistics of Christmas errands were done. My day was busy, but not because of a checklist. But what if the vomit had come in the middle of Christmas cards being stuffed or addressed? What if he got sick before all the gifts had been wrapped and shipped? What then? What if Jesus called me to come away from all the busyness of errands, from my projects and gift preparations, to attentively care for my child? Would I have found the wisdom and courage to set aside the cards and let things be late? To peacefully and quietly give up my agenda and multitasking and give him my presence? Would I, in the middle of chaos, been able to recognize that sitting at his side was the better thing?

Christmas can be a beautiful time of celebrating Christ together as a family. It can also be a terribly distracted time for moms, who are busy about food, clothing, cards, gifts, and getting to places on time. May I challenge us to fight for focus this year? Let’s not run over ourselves or our family with logistics. Do the necessary things, and then choose the better thing. Get everyone clothed and fed and gifted, and then just enjoy being with them. Don’t worry about checking all the boxes. Aim to do what you reasonably can, and then focus on the people God has wisely chosen to put in your life. There are chores and logistics that are needful, but they are not always needed “now.” Prayerfully consider and choose the best thing for “now.” Choose to be present and attentive to your family, people Jesus has given to you, this Christmas.

As I write this, I have little idea what our Christmas will look like. I know it will be a bit fuzzy—remember those canceled haircuts? They never got rescheduled lest we pick up any worse germs, so the boys are looking a bit thick on top, but we’ll count it as extra insulation. The more important thing is that my oldest son seems to be recovering from his mysterious virus. However, healthy or sick, our goal is to spend our holiday together, playing and resting. To that end, I won’t be posting anything new on this blog for the next three or four weeks. I’ll still be writing from time to time while I sit in the darkened hallway at the end of the day, waiting for the kids to fall asleep, but I won’t be putting myself or my editor husband under a deadline to get things done. While I love writing, I love my family more. During this season, I may not have Jesus sitting in my kitchen, but I have the four children He has given me spending Christmas in our home. It might not always be this way, and I don’t want to miss it. Writing can wait. Now is the time to choose the better thing.