Give Them A Verse

One idea: use your walls to give your kids the Word.

Crash! The collapse of a magnet tile palace resounded throughout the house.

“MOM! Beatrix just ruined my structure!” fumed Edison as he stomped into the kitchen where I was doing dishes. Beatrix was close behind, holding back tears.

“I didn’t mean to!” she sniffled, tugging on his sleeve. He jerked free and wheeled around to face her. I caught his hand midair.

My week had been spent refereeing one sibling spat after. I would have gladly sent the kids outside if fresh air would have settled their grievances, but I knew from experience the fights would just continue—with snowballs and whitewashed faces. Besides, it was below zero. As my children continued quarreling around a heap of magnet tiles, only one thought came to mind:

Give me a verse.

That was the challenge my mom directed at me if I started sporting a bad attitude or descending into anxiety. “Give me a verse” meant, “Give me one Bible verse to justify your attitude and actions at this moment. Do you know of one Bible verse that would legitimize this funk or rebellion you’re indulging?” By the time I was in high school, I knew to expect this of mom. She didn’t yell it or threaten it. The words came out even and calm, and so decisive. If I didn’t have a verse, mom did. And if you didn’t have the Bible on your side, you better get ready to change.

Give me a verse! I wanted to zing it at the four kids fighting on the floor at my feet. Then a convicting thought struck: they don’t have a verse. They don’t know a verse. I haven’t given them a verse.

Now just to clarify, my husband and I have helped our children memorize verses. Right about the time they turned two years old, we started with Genesis 1:1 and Ephesians 6:1. They have done some Bible memory for Sunday school and special verses at home to help with nighttime fear. But in that moment I realized they didn’t have a comprehensive arsenal of verses in their minds that they could apply in various situations. You could say they should “obey your parents in the Lord for this is right” by ceasing this quarreling spree, but surely there are better verses for why you should stop fighting with your siblings.

We picked up the tiles and somehow made it through the rest of the day—with more fighting but with mommy working through a perspective change. That night I shared my idea with my husband and went to work. It was time to give these kids some verses—specifically, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Valentine’s Day was about three weeks away and a highly anticipated event in the eyes of my children. Deciding to build on their excitement, I split 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a into 14 segments. Having typed each segment up on the computer, I printed them out, cut them out, and taped them face-down to the wall in our kitchen. At dinner time on February 1, we turned over the first segment, discussed it, and started memorizing it as a family. We repeated the process for the next thirteen days, completing the passage on Valentine’s Day. During those weeks, every time a fight broke out, I prompted the kids to begin reciting the portion of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a we had learned to that point. The verses didn’t put an end to all fighting, but it gave everyone a new perspective when approaching the conflict. The repetition helped their memory as well as their application. After all, the kids didn’t just need to learn the words. They needed to learn how to apply the words to their personal lives.

Valentine’s Day has passed, but we’ve kept the verses on the wall and review them in tense moments. If I want my kids to know how to talk to themselves with the Word of God as adults, I must show them how to do it now, even in the face of fierce attitude. How better to put sin to death than with the Sword of the Spirit? Maybe in helping my kids handle Scripture, the Word will take root and grow in their own hearts and minds until, by saving grace, they embrace it and wield it themselves. That it our prayer.

Moms, we need to give our kids verses—not just verses to make them feel safe (like John 3:16 or Psalm 23), but verses that show them God’s greatness and verses that help them slay their sin. Our own words can only do so much to impact the heart, but the Word of God does not return empty (Isaiah 55:11). Consider a few ways you can help your children to learn the Word:

Speak verses to your children. When Edison was having nightly battles with fear, I started speaking the same verses over him every night. At first I focused on two short verses, repeating them to him two or three times at bedtime. Soon he could say them with me. Later I could begin the verse and he could finish it. Now he knows them—having never seen them on paper. Beatrix, nestled in the bunk below Edison’s bed, surprised me one night with a tearful question: “Why don’t you ever do verses with me?” I started with her that night. She already knew three of Edison’s four verses from memory simply because she had heard them spoken every night.

Memorize verses with your children. If you have many children and little time to work one-on-one, I recommend beginning Bible memory with the “one for all” approach. Chose a verse or passage you would like everyone in the family to know. Break it into doable segments and work on memorizing it together at meal time or during family devotions. Say it together and to each other. Discuss what it means and practice applying it in daily life.

Apply verses to your family life. We can help our kids learn and apply the Bible by doing it for them out loud as we go about our day. When we see a child getting angry with a sibling, we could warn him, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). When we are outside admiring the sunset, we might remind our kids that, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork” (Psalm 19:1). When there is a big job to do (spring cleanup is just around the corner), we should encourage everyone “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” (Colossians 3:23).

By the time my kids are in their teenage years, I hope to be able to challenge them to “give me a verse” when they are mired in a mood. But if that day is going to come, I must first give my kids verses. Moms, let’s work to fill our children’s minds and hearts with truth. It doesn’t mean they will be saved, but it will give us a good foundation for spiritual conversations. As we walk through this season with our kids, may we speak the Word over them, memorize it with them, and help them apply it to life. Even when we don’t see immediate fruit, may we take heart in what God has spoken in Isaiah 55:10-11:

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.