Rest, Mama, Rest

What my child needs most isn't a Pinterest-perfect mom,
but a mom at rest.

Rest. How I long for rest, and yet it remains strangely elusive. Life right now is being a mom, wife, teacher, homemaker, housekeeper, cook, host, etc. While every one of these roles is a good gift, even a calling, it is rest I yearn for most. But if I dare to sit still, the world around me seems to collapse. How is a mom to sit at the feet of Jesus, like quiet Mary, and choose “the good portion” (Luke 10:42)? Jesus did say, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Perhaps the question we need to think through is: what kind of rest is Jesus speaking about?

It was a beautiful day, and we were worn to a thread. We had started another year of homeschool and transitioned to a new church, all the while continuing to spend late nights and early mornings trying to encourage and help friends walking through various struggles and medical trials. Always, there was the unrelenting reality of laundry to wash, meals to cook, messes to clean up—and a vacation to prepare for. Did I mention daddy was on a business trip? It was normal life and we were weary of it. Still, we were going to visit friends. Packing up kids and changes of clothes and picnic lunches was getting old, but I knew the effort would be worth it. We were going to my friend’s house, and she was just the encouragement I needed.

As kids played in the yard, my friend and I sat atop a trampoline and got caught up. Stress melted away. Ideas flowed, direction and vision returned, and laughter came. We inspected tomatoes as well as the fallen tree in her yard, and then fed eight hungry kids at the extra-long picnic table on their deck. Sawdust and kids flew as her husband cut up branches and boys hauled it to the wood stack, and then together worked to erect a “new” playset they had acquired. Tired and dirty, we packed up and went home—fully rested.

How? My friend’s life is as chaotic if not more demanding than my own, filled with boys, homeschooling, hosting, ministry, working—and then almost all the trees in her yard deciding to fall down one after another, sometimes on top of things. Outwardly, her life is not a picture of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus. Sitting is rare. It’s been years since I’ve seen her eat lunch (apparently that happens while she is working on her computer during afternoon naptime). How can she not only seem rested, but give rest?

Because inwardly, she is at rest.

She still has bad days and can become discouraged (she would be quick to tell you), but the prevailing truth I have heard her preach to her own heart is “the Lord will provide.” A heart at rest is a heart that is trusts in the sufficiency and work of God. It looks at life and remembers that what He calls me to do, He will enable me to do in His grace and through His provision. His provision may not be what I envisioned or come when I expected it to, but it will come and it will be good.

In Psalm 127, we are reminded,

“Unless the Lord builds the house,

those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early

and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

for he gives to his beloved sleep.” (Psalm 127:1-2)

The Lord does provide for our rest, but our actual sleep is an outward evidence of a deeper truth. John Piper puts it this way:

I think the main point of these […] verses is: "Don't eat the bread of anxious toil." It means just the same thing Jesus meant when he said, "Don't be anxious about what you shall eat." When we grow up we must all work for our bread. And we can either work nervously, worrying about what men will think of us—and so eat the bread of anxious toil. Or we can work with serenity in our hearts, as serving Christ and not men—and so eat the bread of peace. God's will for his children, indeed the sign of whether we are children or not, is that we not eat the bread of anxious toil. […]

The great test of faith is to believe that when we can see only a bleak outcome to some situation and no good coming of it, yet the sovereign God can and will bring out of nowhere, as it were, a turn of events or attitudes that brings great blessing. And he can do it while we sleep!
(from “Don’t Eat the Bread of Anxious Toil,” July 28, 1980)

The rest we need most, that brings true refreshment and allows us to rest physically, is a heart at rest—a heart that has found its peace in the perfect salvation and sovereign wisdom of Christ.

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. Psalm 116:5-7

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:3-4

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. […] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. John 15:5, 9

Mamas, our lives in this world will be work—but let’s fight to make sure that we work from a heart at rest in the work and provision of Christ. Let us not lead harried lives, restless, frustrated, and eating the bread of anxious toil as if the outcome depended solely on our diligence. Especially as we enter the holiday season and the temptation for worldly, Pinterest-perfect toil abounds, let us seek to rejoice in our Savior’s coming by resting in Him. May we have discernment to work at what matters most, not just what matters to our pride. For some of us (like me), this may mean having the humility to accept what is good—a home filled with creative children instead of a house that is photo-op ready. It may mean that during these busy years of young children, we buy gifts at Walmart instead of crafting them, skip sewing holiday dresses in favor of Goodwill bargain finds, and feast on pizza dished out on paper plates rather than ham served on China for Christmas Eve dinner. And that can all be good—especially if it means mama is at rest and available to enjoy what is most important. The Lord’s provision for me may not be for my life to look incredible by Facebook standards, but for my heart to learn to find satisfaction and joy in “God with us”—in every different season of life.

Mama, when the to-do list threatens to keep you awake, when you feel yourself unravel at the sight of what others can do, do not eat the bread of anxious toil. Look to the Lord. Surrender your expectations and pray for His provision. Trust His wise plan to sufficiently provide for each day, each moment, each task, the needed grace and strength to persevere in your calling. Work with hope. Work with heart as working for the Lord and not for man (Colossians 2:23-24).  And when you have done what you reasonably can, surrender that work and its outcome to His good pleasure—and rest in Him.

“Come, weary saints, though tired and weak

Hide away in the love of Jesus

Your strength will return by His quiet streams

Hide away in the love of Jesus

Come, wandering souls, and find your home
Hide away in the love of Jesus
He offers the rest that you yearn to know
Hide away in the love of Jesus”

—from “Hide Away In the Love of Jesus” by Steve and Vikki Cook