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| When I am afraid... be patient like Jesus; point to Jesus; pray to Jesus. |
“Mommy, I’m afraid!”
The refrain echoes down the darkened hallway like clockwork.
I haven’t even made it to his room to say “goodnight” before Edison is gripped
by his fear of nighttime. Inevitably, it’s been a long day for mommy, full of
playing the roles of teacher, chef, fashion consultant, playtime referee,
social coordinator, arts and crafts instructor, nurse, and basic supply depot.
Bedtime is not the ideal time to put on the counselor cap, but there it is:
darkness, quiet, loneliness—the perfect time for any heart to fall victim to
fear.
Every night as I come into his room and we look the fear of
night in the face, I try to remember three things:
First, be patient like
Jesus is patient. “The
Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding
in steadfast love” (Psalm 103:8). The heart
of our Shepherd is patient toward His sheep: “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his
arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with
young” (Isaiah 40:11). So often our Savior could have rightly been vexed
with His disciples for their fear, even in the face of His mighty greatness.
Sometimes He did rebuke them, but most often He was gentle and kind (maybe even
a little humorous) when guiding them back to truth. “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to
the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all
numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows”
(Matthew 10:29-31). As He deals so patiently with my many needless fears, so
now I am to show His love toward others by being patient toward them in His
name.
Second, point to
Jesus. “When I am afraid, I put my
trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be
afraid. What can flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4). “In who?” I ask Edison
every night. “In God,” he replies, every night. “What is God like?”
We start to remember some of Jesus’
attributes—characteristics that make Him a strong tower. He is the almighty
creator (Isaiah 44:24), eternal (Psalm 90:2), unchanging (Hebrews 13:8), etc.
We also talk about His mighty deeds. He is the one who created night (Genesis
1:3-5) as part of His “good” creation. In mercy He created the moon and stars
to govern the night sky (Genesis 1:14-18), giving us natural nightlights that
are beautiful. Without night, we would never see the stars. In His goodness, He
shows us glimpses of His power and greatness through night: “He determines the number of the stars; he
gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his
understanding is beyond measure” (Psalm 147:4-5). Even though it is nighttime, it is not dark
to Him (Psalm 139:11-12), nor is He tired or sleeping (Psalm 121:3-4)
Third, pray to Jesus.
Finally, we rehearse our second memory verse for this particular fear attack: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the
righteous man runs into it and is safe” (Proverbs 18:10). “What is the name
of the Lord?” I ask. “A strong tower,” he replies. “What should you do?” “Run
to it.” “How?” “Pray.”
So we do. We pray to ask Jesus to help Edison to trust in
Him through the night, to trust in His wisdom that gives us darkness so that we
can rest better. We pray that He will keep Edison as he sleeps, and protect him
from evil and bad dreams. We thank Him for His abiding and sustaining grace.
After a last “Amen” and a last Bible verse spoken as a blessing over his head,
I leave Edison to think, to pray, and to fight—and I keep on praying.
I pray that someday these verses will truly take root and
grow in his heart, that he will use them to battle against his fears and
anxiety even when mommy is not by his side. I pray that the Lord will keep this
child, sustaining his body but more so saving his soul—that one day he will
behold Jesus face-to-face in a heavenly kingdom where there will be no night. I
pray that he will grow to love his Savior so that his heart will swell with
courage by beholding the greatness and wisdom of our sovereign God, that he
will be ready to count everything, even life, as rubbish compared to the
treasure of Jesus Christ. And I pray for the strength to trust Him with my own
fears, to look to Him at the end of another exhausting day, and to rest in His
grace and provision for tomorrow’s troubles and challenges. I pray for the
grace to trust Him through another night, to look to Him, and to rest in His
love, and then, to sleep.
“In peace I will both
lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm
4:8
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